I was listening to a podcast recently about Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. The presenters were discussing whether the book raises the enduring debate about nature versus nurture.

It led me to reflect on the relationship between our environment, the choices we make and our capacity to change.

I believe we are shaped by the environment in which we are raised. Our upbringing shapes our beliefs, values, behaviours and understanding of the world. Perhaps its greatest influence is on the choices we believe are available to us.

We cannot readily choose a path we cannot imagine exists.

This belief sits at the heart of my coaching philosophy. Meaningful change occurs only when what we are changing to becomes more important than what we are leaving behind. What keeps us where we are may be familiarity, security, identity or fear of the unknown. My role is to help people explore both.

The catalyst for change must come from within. I cannot tell someone why they should change. They must discover that for themselves.

Equally, choosing not to change is a perfectly valid outcome. If someone understands their circumstances, recognises their choices and is genuinely happy where they are, why should they change?

This brings me back to Victor Frankenstein.

Victor understood how to create life but never accepted responsibility for it. He abandoned his creation at the exact moment he most needed help navigating a world he did not understand.

With no one to show him what was possible, the creation had no basis for choosing a path.  He became as others saw him – a monster.

Coaching is the antithesis of what Victor did.

A client allows me the privilege of being a guide on their journey. I can listen, question, challenge, encourage and share my experience. I do not own their journey, determine their destination or make their decisions.

When they have the confidence and clarity to continue independently, my role is complete. They no longer need me.

I don’t measure my success by whether someone changes. I measure it by their ability to make their own choices.

The aim isn’t to make someone follow my path. It’s to help them find the confidence to walk their own.